Resolutions? We ain't got no resolutions. We don't need no resolutions! I don't have to show you any stinkin' resolutions!

Because it seems to be the thing to do this time of year, I offer herewith my resolutions for the new year:

1. Um

2. Uh

3. @!%!**#~@#!!

Eh, talk to me in July!

(Don't ever Google "curse words in comic strips." Don't. Not. At All.)